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It's Polka dots and I'm the creator of this blog (obviously)
If you were wondering what the blories and all the random short stories and letters are, they were school assignments.
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Friday, April 30, 2010

Blory #3 A Stinkerspy Socks Life

As a sock, I had always been proud of the fact that I managed to consistently escape the evil clutches of the lady with the laundry hamper. You see, I, Sebastian, am one of the infamous stinkerspy socks. I had been very confident, doing things no other stinkerspy sock dared to do. I believed that I was invincible, but I was proved wrong.

***

So as to not confuse you, I will first tell you that we socks are all actually alive and kicking, not the dead things that you think us to be. With that secret revealed, you may also wonder what happens to the socks that have lost the other half of their pair or have become holey and useless. Well, let me tell you a little secret, we lone socks are actually hidden all around every house in the world and are secretly planning for the downfall of the ladies with the laundry hamper and their rumbling box companions that cleans things. We have organized ourselves into many groups in order to have this dream of ours come true.
There are the stinker socks, who lure the lady with the laundry hamper away from our base of operations and recruit new socks, then there are the spy socks, who watch every move of the lady with the laundry hamper and the teenage boy that lives with her. There are also the brain socks that plan our every move and tell the stinker socks how to hinder the cleaning of the lady with the laundry hamper. But, then there are the stinkerspy socks who are one of a kind. They are the ones charged with the special task of rescuing socks from the demise that all socks fear-being thrown away.
There are many horror stories told at night about famous socks that had saved hundreds of socks from the trash can but in the end had all been captured and thrown away. Those socks had never been seen again but some of the brain socks had claimed that they had seen pictures of the few remnants of the socks after they had been thrown away. I had vowed never to become one of those wool pieces blowing in the wind but as all vows eventually turn out, it was broken.

***

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” I hollered as the lady with the laundry hamper lifted me off the messy floor that I called home. My sock friends had hidden themselves among the clothes that lay strewn across the floor, only able to watch in horror as I was captured by the lady. I tried to wriggle free from her meaty hand but I could do nothing to stop it, my fate was inevitable. The lady stuffed my head into a basket of other dirty clothes and seeing that it was full, left the room to dump the clothes in yet another basket.
After I succeeded in wriggling out of the mound of clothes that were crushing me, I studied my surrounding, hoping to find a way to escape. I was not going to die here! I would definitely find a way to escape! I tried to pull myself out one of the holes in the basket but it was futile. I was just about ready to give up when the boxers beside me moved and I turned in surprise.
“Yo dude, what are you doing here?” the boxers drawled.
“Never mind me, why are you here? I thought the holey boxers were part of the Icky Rebellion.” I replied mystified.
“Meh, I was tired of all that running so I gave up and now here I am”
“Don’t you feel the urge to resist?”
“Nah, when you get to this age my boy, you get tired of all these petty squabbles”
“Our rebellion isn’t petty! It’s a sign of spirit! Of resistance! Of all things that make us independent creatures!”
“Think what you want, it matters not to me, I’m just a pair of holey boxers”
I could not believe this! Did this pair of boxers represent the morale of our troops? I thought that the rebellion had far more support than this! This revelation only fueled my desire to escape even more. I began to plan my escape instead of trying to force my was out but in the midst of it the teenage boy who's room I lived in came in. He had this evil grin on his face and I had a feeling who was going to do something quite appalling. He did. He reached into the basket in which I was situated and I was torn yet again from my resting place. I sighed, if this kept on happening, I would get used to it.
The boy carried me back to his room which was pretty good except for the fact that he reached into a place us socks had never dared to explore, ever. The closet door was opened and what came out in his hand was a paper shredder. I relaxed. He was probably going to toss me somewhere in his room and shred his homework or something. I squinted in an attempt to see how many things he had shredded and what I saw filled me with dread. The woolly remains of my fallen comrades lay in the bottom of the paper shredder and I guessed that I would have the same fate. Yet again I struggled pointlessly but in the end I was stuffed into the paper shredder anyway. As a last valiant effort, I sunk my mini sock teeth into the boys hand. I hope I gave him the only lethal disease socks have, sockitis, for all the pain he put me through. I HOPE YOU DIE WITH ME STUPID BOY!
At least I'm in sock heaven now . :)

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